Little Cup of Heaven

I have long believed one of the greatest ways to gives oneself a little daily treat is tea. I used to LOVE going to tea at Crumpets, but is was a sad, sad day in Memphis when that charming little place shut down. As much as I like having a job and being a contributing member of society, every now and then I wish I could be a lady who lunches and enjoy tea with friends on a regular basis.


Crumpets served White Lion tea and I went through loads of the White Ambrosia flavor I discovered there, until I found something better: Chocolate Tea. I kid you not, this stuff is awesome. I discovered the Chocolate Mint tea by Harney and Sons last fall and have been hooked on it ever since; they also have a chocolate coconut tea I am dying to try. The Royal Wedding Tea is very similar to my beloved White Ambrosia so I’ve made the switch to that. Now once a quarter I get the catalog filled with hundreds of tea varieties and slowly but surly I’ll make my way through the interesting flavors offered. The best part is, the tea is surprisingly affordable and comes in nice looking tins. I can’t recommend this stuff so check it out:

http://www.harney.com/

Namaste Y'all

Over the past few months but especially the past few weeks I’ve had a change of mindset and re-prioritized things in my life and where I place my emphasis. One thing that has become really important to me is my religion. For years as a young adult I felt unwelcomed and uncomfortable at church knowing that I was leading the life of sinner. As I got older I became more of an on and off attender, but lately I’ve made going a priority. In fact, I’ve actually found enjoyment in going to church and inspiration in the message given each week. See, I had forgotten something very important about the fundamental beliefs of my church; we are all sinners . . . that’s why God sent Jesus to die for our sins and regardless of our sin we can all find forgiveness through God and are always welcome in his house. I think some priests are better than others at emphasizing this fact but I really like the church I attend and am an official registered member of. With this, I’ve really enjoyed attending Theology on Tap sessions over the past few months offered by the Catholic Diocese of Memphis. Once a month a group of young adults gathers at a restaurant to hear from a speaker on a religious topic, usually a priest or sister but not always. This month’s speaker was Fr. Bruce of St Patrick’s who gave a great talk on being excited about being Catholic through the Holy Spirit, it was pretty powerful stuff. I’m pretty sure non Catholics would be welcome to attend if any of you Memphis residents are interested. Here’s the website:


http://totmemphis.org/

I’m also trying really hard to be a more calm person in general, and you know me so you know how much this takes a real effort for me. One thing I’ve found really helping in this effort is yoga. The first time I took a yoga class I was lying on the floor at the end of the class thinking this is bull Sh*t when I was supposed to be thinking positive thoughts. But that class was offered at my old gym, in their general fitness room while my new gym has a room dedicated to yoga and Pilates. I’ve learned that when it comes to finding inner peace, the environment in which one seeks that inner peace makes a real difference. The yoga room at my “new” gym has soft lighting, is warm, and has appropriate flooring. Plus I find the teacher really friendly, but not overly perky. I like that I can show up for class a little early to take my time setting up myself and pulling back from the outside world, and when class ends I can take a few moments to gather my thoughts rather than abruptly be pushed outside so the next class can rush in. because I’m new to yoga, I find the moves challenging; I’m terribly uncoordinated so it takes all my concentration to not fall into the person next to me . . . it nice to have that time where I just can’t think about other things in my life and I completely have to focus on the moment. Some of the moves I find to be pure torture, but others I really enjoy the deep stretch sensation, I’ve even taking to doing about 10 minutes worth of moves before going to bed at night. My gym offers yoga many times throughout the week but the Sunday class is the one that I seem to be able to make it to on a consistent basis, and thus Sunday has turned into my day of peace and reflection . . . it’s nice.

Google Stalking

A few weeks ago it occurred to me that with the Internet we all really have the power to screw people over. Not that I would ever go and give bad reviews on rate my professor to my ex (no seriously, I promise I have NOT does this) or ever refer to someone by their full name in a non flattering manner, but you have to admit it's tempting. Anytime this person goes for a job, or is dating a new person there it would be for the world to read. But you can look at this in a glass half full type of way and hope that people are putting really awesome stuff out there about you too. Surly I can't be the only one that goggles myself on a regular basis to make sure my online brand is good and goggles guys before I date them (hey, haven't you heard of the craigslist killer? A girl has to be careful these days). Oh Internet, how great and wonderful you are!

It looks like my little ole blog is approaching 10,000 views, how exciting! Ok, so I realize that in blog world that actually not that much but considering I have about 120 posts I think it's awesome.


So . . . how to celebrate? Once I hit 10,000 I'm going to create a 10,000 blog post, and if you comment on it I'll select one person at random and write a blog post about you and how awesome you are. Think about it, anytime someone goggles you they will come across this post going on and on about your great wonder and might, you know you want that hanging out there :) Plus, think of the ego boost.


Point being, keep reading and get me to 10,000 views so you can have a chance for some self promotion.

Death and Taxes

Today it's a dreary, gloomy day in Memphis and I find this most appropriate as I mourn the loss of my carefree young adult life style. Today, if you didn't know is tax day, and on this day I have been trust into full adulthood - not getting a refund check. In fact, not only am I not getting any money back this year, but I owe. Boo!

Although I actually prepared my taxes a month ago, I waited until the very last minute to send in the forms. Preparing my taxes for 2011 made me realize that it was my very last year to take the standard deduction and for 2012 I will begin itemizing. Nothing makes me feel more like a full fledged member of society like having enough expenses to itemize my tax return and I don't like it, not one bit. This will be a big adjustment for me because I've never been one to hold onto receipts and documentation but I see how little expenses throughout the year can add up. On this weekend's agenda is setting up my expense filing system, and clearing off the desk in the home office now that I actually have a legitimate need for a home office. Grown up activities indeed . . . please excuse me while I go stomp my feet about life being unfair while folding my arms and making a grumpy face, If I'm going to be dragged into adulthood I'm going in protesting.

Farmer's Market Field Trip

On Saturdays when I don't have any community activities planned I like to sleep in and wake up naturally. This past Saturday I was actually awake at 8:30am, which may sound like sleeping in to some but for me on a Saturday that's early. Sitting in bed I wondered what to do with myself since I actually had an entire day and no plans on the agenda and then I remembered seeing posts on facebook that it was the opening weekend to the Farmer's Market. So, I threw on some clothes, grabbed my market tote, and decided to check it out.

For the past year or so I've wanted to go to the Farmer's Market but for some reason or another have not gotten around to it. Meanwhile, said market tote has been chilling in my pantry for 3 years waiting for such an adventure as it's too small for regular grocery trips. I think I used it once in a picnic basket capacity. Anyways . . .

 Even though the market is downtown, it's only about 20 minutes from east Memphis going on the interstate. I got there a little after 10am and noticed lots of cars parked on the street. Since it was a really nice day I didn't mind walking and just pulled in behind all the other cars. Since the "serious" farmer's market shoppers get there early I probably could have gone into the parking lot and found an open spot. For the record, the market opens at 7am. 7am! On a Saturday. No thank you, I don't care how fresh and tasty whatever you are offering is. (side note: in general, I get really irritated if I have to wake up earlier on the weekend than I do for work, which is 7:30am)

Being a first timer I decided to do one complete lap before deciding to buy anything. I did notice that a few things had sold out. Most of the vendors have a chalk board listing their offerings and as the day goes on they mark through whatever is sold out. I wasn't in the market for anything in particular, except a bunch of flowers. The market has 3 flower vendors but the group of Asian people with the two white tents offer the best stuff. I got the beautiful bouquet below for $15. I also had to wait in line for 40 minutes, Yikes! Now, a note on these flower people: you wait in line and then tell the vendor what you want and they make a bouquet. Mostly this is if there is something you don't want, for example, I don't consider red to be a springy flower so I always say no red (always, yes because this is the same group I used to buy flowers from on Fridays when I worked downtown). There was a man and women making bouquets, the women's bouquets appears to end up larger but I think she was charging $20. I'm not sure why the difference in prices and size from the same vendor but  I hope I get the lady next week. PS: if any frequent market goers can explain this, please do.

I also got some pimento cheese ($7) and some green onions ($2). I had really been hoping to get some arugula but it was sold out. So . . . . I went to another farmer's market! (big day, I know). The Cooper Young Farmer's market is much smaller but it was also not sold out. Some of the same vendors for downtown where there as well but there were no flowers, meaning this will not be my regular farmer's market. The did however have the humane society visiting and there was sweet little girl I fell in love with. My family seems to think a 2nd dog is a terrible idea but we'll see, I will stew on this for a few weeks.

On the way home I made a pit stop at the Urban Farms market, which is a old gas station that has been turned into a little neighborhood market. The Urban market sells farmer's market esque things. I had been there previously for local honey and also got this amazing rosemary bread. This time I got some organic milk and chips and salsa from Las Delicious. Best chips ever, I promise.

I don't for see the farmer's market ever taking the place of regular grocery shopping but I would be interested in trying some of the meat and seafood available. For the most part, I thought the prices were a little higher than a grocery store but not terrible - excerpt for the people who wanted $4.50 for 5 apples, seriously? Are they magic apples? Point is, I'll go back, it makes for a nice Saturday morning outing and some fresh food is nice to throw into my grocery store mix.

Packin' Heat

This week I took my first step towards a bucket list item: getting my handgun carry permit.

If you had asked me six years ago how I felt about guns I would have said they are violent and unnecessary. But six years ago I was a naïve girl straight out of college. As I began my adult life in Memphis and actually watched the news and went to places beyond my yuppie suburban neighborhood I realized that I didn’t feel safe 100% of the time. When I think back on my year in staffing I realize I put myself in a lot of danger for a small starter salary. My office was in a not so great neighborhood and my client’s offices were even less great neighborhoods. I worked in the office nights and weekend – often by myself and I drove around town making client visits and cold calls. On time, I had to go onsite to terminate someone from their placement, and because that person didn’t have their own car and the client wanted them offsite immediately I had to drive that person home, by myself. Now, this lady turned out to be nice and I sent most of the 15 minute ride comforting her but the reality is I was crazy to get into a car alone with someone I had just fired. I’m a numbers girl and statistically speaking, my luck will run out at some point so I plan on getting protection before that happens.

BUT, and it’s a big BUT, owning and gun comes with a lot of responsibilities. And I recognize I am not ready for that responsibility. In April I will take my first entry level handgun class and the goal is to move towards getting my permit and taking some handgun self defense classes. I am not comfortable owning a lethal weapon until I really know how to use it, right now I’ve only shot a gun twice in my life and both times were in a shooting range; granted I shot A LOT of rounds (I had some major steam to blow off) but two experiences is not enough. But the way I look at it, driving a car is handling a lethal weapon every single day and I feel pretty comfortable with that, so I know that I can move towards other responsibilities as well.

I wish I lived in a world where I didn’t think this was necessary, but wishing won’t make the realities of my world go away. The story linked below is an example of the sad, sick world we live in. I'll try to make the next blog post more upbeat y'all.

http://gma.yahoo.com/video/news-26797925/vermont-teacher-murder-husband-wife-arrested-28769110.html#crsl=%252Fvideo%252Fnews-26797925%252Fvermont-teacher-murder-husband-wife-arrested-28769110.html

Can't Buy Me Love - Results

I found the results for my recent survey on relationships and money to be very interesting. In case you are wondering, my curiosity for this came after my Mom called to let me know that The View was having a segment on how in 40% of relationships women make more than men and they were discussing how men feel about that. I on the other and am much more interested on how women feel about it. Interestingly enough, 38.1% of respondents said they are in a relationship where the female makes more money, pretty close to The View statistic.

First, I wanted was curious to see how people felt about money in the beginning of relationships and surprisingly only 25% of respondents felt a woman should pay for a date before the 3rd date, the majority felt that the female should only pay once the couple is in a committed relationship. I liked some of the fill in answers on this one, specifically these:

“I selected, "never"...but sometimes it is kinda fun to surprise your date by paying. I think that offering to pay is good..but really my expectation of ACTUALLY paying is "Never":)” . . . way to be honest, and I share these views.

However, I also like this point “It depends. If you do not feel a connection at all with the person on the first date and really don't want to see them again the female should pay for her own meal and drinks on the first date. After that I think it depends on how comfortable you feel with the person.”

I was also curious about men and household responsibilities. Not that I’m saying one person earning more gives them the right to take of less at home . . . but traditional models of household income have gone aside so I was curious if household responsibilities had changed as well. Of the people who are in a live together relationship, 28.5% reported the female took care of household duties. This one made me sad because no a single respondent reporting being a single income household, so there are some ladies out there who hold jobs and have to take care of them home on their own, WTF dudes? Not a single respondent indicated the male to be in charge of household duties, so much for equality.

On sharing household expenses I dropped the ball because I completely forgot to include the option of a joint account. As in 100% of what everyone makes goes into a joint account. Honestly, this concept is foreign to me; I thought for sure people have joint and individual accounts but 21.7% indicated they operate on the 100% joint account system. Only 12.5% of people living together said they share expenses evenly.

When it comes to going out, most people shared expenses by either taking turns of operating off the joint account. 35.3% of respondents did indicate that the males pays for entertainment expenses. Only 1 respondent indicated the female pays for entertainment expenses.

When it comes to conflict, 42.9% of respondents indicated that a difference in income occasionally causes conflict in their relationship. Thanks for the honesty! Fill in the blank responses indicated frustrations over earning more, jealousy when one person can afford to go out more and buy things her boyfriend cannot, men feeling inferior if they make less, moving for one persons job and the other makes less as a result, and criticisms over spending habits from the party that makes less. The last comment really hit home for me. I’ve know several ladies who have had a boyfriend criticize their spending habits and I’ve been in this situation myself; I get this if you are operating under the joint account system but otherwise back off dude!

Finally, I was curious how people avoid conflict. Bless the 20% of people who were honest enough to admit that they don’t. But I found one answer in particular especially mature and refreshing:

“We have a monthly budget that includes household expenses, entertainment, savings and a "discretionary" amount that each person can spend freely. He usually spends on blu rays or sports or something and I spend mine at the mall or on manicures/pedicures or the spa”

Overall, the survey confirmed what has always been my belief about modern relationships. Although financial values and income has changed traditional values are still being held onto. In many ways this seems unfair to both parties at some point in the relationship. I admit, I’ve been trained to expect a man to pay for dinner, but I do offer frequently and don’t mind occasionally picking up the tab. But why shouldn’t it be an equal split? But then at the same time, household responsibility sharing seems to still lean towards female responsibility, not fair either! I didn’t even get into children but I suspect a lot of that falls onto females too. If nothing else, reviewing these results actually made me appreciate being single, so thanks for that!